I love her enough to let her go. But I'll always be by her side, I'll always be her friend.
I can't forget my life though. I'll keep on living , I'll find my own love lo live, but she'll always be there.
She'll always be there in the back of my mind, not hunting me as selfish people would say. I'll think about her with love, with tenderness , exactly in the same way I would if she was with me.
Does it hurt me to be with her only as a friend?
Absolutely not. The only thing I've ever wanted was her happiness. And I promised that I would do anything to give her that. If that included stepping aside to someone else I would, and I did, without thinking twice.
God, I became the fool I pitted in my youth. Am I just another old fool?
If it's foolishness wishing someone else's happiness before our own then I'm the foolest person in the world.
But what would anger and grief bring me?
She's happy, and every time I see her smile the happiness inside me can't be described.
What have I actually lost?
I've found her peace and my own.
What else could I have asked for?
------------
I've found her. A different her.
I have tears in my eyes, I finally found someone to make me happy.
Why can't I forget her then?
Do I love her more than my "different one"?
Can I compare that? Can I measure?
Is it fare?
Why do I ask myself these questions?
------------
For the first time in five years I feared she would find this diary. There's so much inside these pages.
I have no secrets with her, she has always known it all, so why do I fear?
I haven't touched this for five years. I'm happy.
My son (why do I dread writing names so much?) smiled for the first time to me today, the same day her daughter was born.
Well, at least she'll cal me uncle D. as my son will call her aunt S.
God, I couldn't love my wife more, so why do I think about this?
------------
They are both nine now, they can't stop playing together.
They "hate" each other.
Déjà vu!
------------
Mark is sick, he won't live much longer. I can't stop feeling happy about it.
I'll burn in hell!
------------
Rose is gone,
If it wasn't for S. I would have killed myself.
But I can't leave her alone.
God, the children are so young!
------------
I'm living with S now. I'll never touch her.
I just can't.
------------
Cigarette has catch up with me.
Funny, isn't it?
------------
I'll burn this.
I will!
------------ // ------------
I found this half burned diary in my dad's safe the day he died.
This is what I could save from it, almost everything was gone.
I confronted aunt Sofia and she confessed the love my dad had for her when they were young.
I've never seen such love like my dad had for my mom, rivaled only by the one aunt Sofia had for uncle Mark.
And I'm sure you think the same way.
To think that my father, your uncle David, could have an even greater and purer love for your mother, my aunt Sofia, it's unimaginable.
And the only kiss they ever shared was the one your mom gave him at his funeral!
They've hold each other through my mom's and your dad's deaths. They've hold us.
I consider aunt Sofia as my second mother as much as you consider your uncle David your second father.
If I could give just half of this love to you, and get only a pinch in return, I would be the happiest man on earth.
I promise you now, as my father once promised your mother, that I'll do anything, anything to make you happy.
Jessica, will you marry me?
____________
Em breve versão em português.
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